I have a problem, my blog readers and followers... And the problem is that the times I typically feel the most inspired to write and post for this blog are during the hours I am at work. Now, why is that a problem you ask? The main reason that's a problem is because a blog is considered "social media" and despite the fact that these sites aren't blocked on my companies network we're still not supposed to go on them. To be fair, for my more extensive posts I sometimes spend all day, like almost 7 hours working on them (yeah, you read that right. And you're welcome). From adding pictures, to proof reading, to the actual writing process and everything in between it can be very time consuming. Even the most basic posts (of which I pretty much have none) end up taking well over an hour because I keep adding things when I read it back. I'd say about 99% of the time I just sit down and start typing without even knowing what I'm going to say. Then even after I've written everything I typically don't even know half of what I've said, but I swear writing just feels amazing and I love to let the thoughts flow onto digital paper. I of course read and reread all of my posts before they are actually published but it's hard to decide that a post is ever "finished". I have one post that has been sitting in limbo for 3 MONTHS. But I refuse to let it die so I'll finish and post it at some point. It's saved on my other laptop... ANYWAY even after all the reading and rereading and editing and rewriting, I usually want to make even more changes after publishing when I read them again months or weeks later. You can see why it's a problem when I get inspired to write at work now right? Speaking of work, I've been super productive at work this week. I've sewn a pair of pointe shoes, I've watched countless ballet videos on youtube for inspiration and "research", I've looked up and downloaded performance music, I've researched becoming a beach body coach, I've planned my husbands birthday dinner including looking up recipes etc, AND I'm now sitting here writing a blog post and it's only Wednesday.
Please keep in mind that I'm an Accounting Assistant for a Government Contracting Company... So essentially I'm terrible at my job because I do other stuff all day instead of my actual job. That's not to say that I'm incapable of doing my job, because I do get it done and I get it done well but I'm a freaking passionate and creative person! I may not be passionate about accounting, or anything remotely related to the work I am doing (or really not doing) for the time being, but in general I am passionate and can't nobody stop this train!
Here's a random question for you... Have you heard of Bentinho Massaro?
He talks a lot about passion. I'm pretty sure that his words can inspire almost anyone. For the sake of honesty and transparency I'll admit that I'm pretty easily inspired. I get excited by things super quickly and damn it I dream big! He has about a million videos (that's an exaggeration) on youtube, and while they may not all speak to you, I love having it on in the background during my day. Even the same video over and over, I catch new things every time. Sometimes I hear entirely new things in the same videos and I wonder what the hell I was doing during that part last time that I missed it entirely? We all have needs, and honestly those needs can change daily, or even multiple times a day. The universe draws us to different things, and if we trust it and let it guide us we can have those needs fulfilled everyday. Just like hearing parts of an old video I never heard before. Finding these videos was one of those things for me. I was needing something. I didn't even know that I needed something but I did. I found what I needed in myself through his words: POSITIVITY. I literally felt my energy perk up like I hadn't in a few months. At that moment I realized that I had disconnected from my positive vibrations and had reverted to my negative thoughts for the past few months now. The slip happened so gradually, so randomly, and so naturally that I didn't even think twice about it or realize that it had happened. Old habits die hard. The fact that I put myself back into the setting where I used to be a little negative nancy (the ballet world) obviously made this transition feel even more natural. But no more!
So many people in this world are negative. Please, never doubt or downplay the power of your thoughts and feelings. You are creating your own reality every second of every day. Make a conscious choice to lead yourself where you want to be with your thoughts. No one is more powerful over your life than you are right this second and every future second in your life. Please take a minute right now to be grateful. Be grateful that we are living in a time where infinite knowledge can be discovered and shared as long as you're searching for it. Never be afraid to learn more or keep growing, we are made to evolve and grow into ever blossoming beautiful beings. Don't stunt that growth with negativity or self doubt. The only thing negativity breeds is more negativity. Have you ever noticed that? All it takes is that one little negative thought parasite to take root and before you know it your entire mind is infested. It happens to all of us and it's OKAY. It is OKAY to be there right now. Every experience in this life is a learning experience if you choose to look at it that way. Use it as an opportunity to grow. Mistakes, screw ups, victories, accomplishments, these are all growing opportunities. At some point something is going to come and knock you over the head and give you the opportunity to kill your negativity infestation. The key is to be open to receiving information. It can come from any source, and possibly even the most unexpected source. DON'T IGNORE THE UNIVERSE! You must be willing and open to new things, to change, to doing what may feel unnatural or uncomfortable at first but will become your own personal norm and bliss. We all have our own unique paths so don't doubt or regret any part of yours because your path is your life and without it you would not be you. Follow the yellow brick road as they say. Thanks google images (and the wizard of oz of course) for always having my back...
Some of those negative people in this world can really bring you down. Especially if they come in the form of people we care about. Being a pessimist and choosing to instead being an optimist is like being a recovering addict. Whatever your vice is, whether it be shopping, drugs, sex, food, video games - whatever- once you quit it there is always a temptation to hop right back on the wagon and slip back into old habits. Coming in contact with people who are doing what you yourself used to do is a particularly hard battle to fight. But it's possible to overcome. Like I said earlier though, even if you do "relapse" it's OKAY. Please be forgiving of yourself because blame and guilt aren't helping anyone, you're only hurting yourself more.
I believe in you, and I bet you almost anyone else you encounter in this world will believe in you and your abilities 100 times more than you believe in yourself right now. So just take the leap of faith and believe in yourself!
On that note I'll stop rambling and as always thank you for actually reading this... If anyone actually does that is- I'm extremely grateful and always humbled by the amazing people out there! Maybe this post will be your 'knock on the head' I surely hope it will speak to at least someone!
xoxo - Harmony